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That said, it may help to explore some of your own needs and wants via a one-on-one session with yourself prior to engaging in partnered sex more on that later. But, basically: Relax, breathe, and take it all in stride. The best thing you can do before you have sex for the first time: masturbate. This can be v empowering and make room for lots and lots of pleasure when it comes time for partnered sex, she confirms. Focus instead on what you're experiencing, what feels good, and the sensations of how exactly your partner is touching you.